Day #5 The Extraction
Článek je k dispozici i v češtině 🇨🇿.
On my last day on the Tour Divide, I woke up in Ovando. Surprisingly, it was the first night when I slept well. All other nights, my heart rate was over 90 beats per minute. This was the first time when it dropped to a slightly elevated 50. Despite being in cold conditions and cycling the whole day, my body started to recover somehow. At least some parts of it.
Since the beginning, I accepted the possibility of not completing the Tour Divide. This isn’t positive or negative mindset, it’s a fact. It’s a tough race on its own and to do it with an illness might be even dangerous.
A lower heart rate isn’t everything. Pain in the chest was unbearable. I started to fear the moment when I needed to cough. It was scary. But it wasn’t the main reason to quit. That became the blood I coughed up into a sponge.
It’s hard to find the line between bravery and craziness. It wasn’t as bad as it might sound. People are usually very scared of blood coming from unexpected sources. However, some blood during bronchitis is not that uncommon. But you never know…
I knew this was the end, but I didn’t want to give up yet. The bigger town - Lincoln - was close, only one pass away and there was a doctor that could tell me if I could continue.
🕴️ It’s Not Just About Me
First, I needed to fix my jacket. The zipper slider had completely broken off. As it was a two-way zip, I could use the second one to close my jacket, but it was a temporary solution. I jumped on my bike and started to pedal.
When I reached the highway, I couldn’t continue. It was just too much and I felt I had no strength. I was on the Tour Divide for four days and I didn’t enjoy any of it. I’m not trying to do this to prove to someone that I have the resilience of the ant, or that I’m as brave as the lion. I do these races to enjoy them. Yes. There can and there should be some difficult moments, but it shouldn’t be struggle after struggle.
And there is one more thing I need to considers. Some people started seeing me as an inspiration, which led them to embark on their own adventures. I can’t put the warning “Don’t try it at home” in my content, because I want people to explore what is outside. I don’t want to inspire someone to crawl in a state of total exhaustion to make a few meters. I want to show there is a line which shouldn’t be crossed. When health is at stake, it isn’t worth it.
You might ask if my health was at stake, why did I even start? And why did I push through this for so many days? What can I say? One can’t tell what future will be. I didn’t have a fever and considering I was able to push almost 900 kilometres my shape wasn’t that bad. The safest option is always to stay home. Testing our limits come with a cost.
🎷 There Is No Way Back
And there I was. I feared my pain and I spitted blood. I was mentally and physically beaten up. It was so hard to turn back. As I was going to Ovando and couldn’t stop tears. This was the end. But this wasn’t the end of my struggle.
Uncertainty is the worst feeling. Usually, when I’m worried about something going wrong, it’s a worse feeling, than when it happens.
This time… I didn’t feel any better after my decision. I knew that getting back home would be a nightmare. I was in the middle of Montana, and I had no idea what is the best way to go to Europe. I have located two big cities nearby – Missoula and Helena. Which to choose? Should I bike there or take a lift?
For the first time in my life I desperately tried to hitch a ride—with a bike—but I had exactly zero chance. No one has stopped. It was time to get back to Ovando and get myself a proper breakfast.
So, I sit there, eating my omelette and looking miserable. Kathy, a local, kindly arraigned a “taxi” for me to Missoula. And that was it. As the Tour Divide has no real organizer, I don’t have to tell anybody that I quit. You can just leave the route and go home.
✈️ How To Get Home?
Going home wasn’t easy even when I arrived in Missoula. The first thing I wanted to do was to visit a doctor and check that my condition isn’t serious. In the medical report, there was a statement that it was probably a viral (which I doubt, I think it was bacterial) bronchitis and they did an x-ray of my chest, but they didn’t find anything irregular. I didn’t want any medication against the pain, so they gave me pills against the cough. It didn’t work at all.
When I quit a race in my home country it’s very easy. I just go on the train, because they’re everywhere, and under 10 hours I can be in my bed. Here, it took me two days to even get to the airport. I needed to get a bike box (big thanks for Bicycle Hangar, they put out a new bike to give me the box) and tickets at the last minute were quite expensive. I was bleeding financially.
I couldn’t get a ticket to Prague. It’s hard to figure out all the rules about taking a bike to a plane because every airline has different conditions. I could probably save some money by getting tickets separately, but I didn’t want to risk problems during transfers. I have been through too much already.
After a long series of flights, I finally arrived in Frankfurt. There I found out that there was a soccer championship or something and airport was super crowdy. I booked a ticket to Prague on a train which usually runs fine. There was only one transfer in Dresden. It didn’t go as planned. That day there were serious thunderstorms and my last train to Prague was cancelled.
I had to improvise and book a Flixbus that was taking bikes. It was delayed because there was some accident on a highway. Thankfully I was able to get to the metro in Prague before midnight and I could sleep in my bed. I didn’t have to bike any more meters. The whole transfer lasted more than 24 hours. Let’s say that my return was eventful.
❓ Could It End Up Differently?
Do I regret my decision now? When I was at Missoula and the doctor told me I was OK, just rest, I had these thoughts about getting back. I would take one day of rest, and I would bike 80 kilometres back to the route. I had enough time to catch the flight. I didn’t feel that bad. I had to be very strong and resist these ideas. As soon as I would start biking, my conditions would get worse again and this nonsense spiral would continue.
These words come true. A day later even with a lot of rest, I had a strong pain in my throat. I don’t think it was some reinfection but just a healing process that could finally begin. It took a week to disappear.
I had one more problem that I didn’t mention yet and I didn’t “feel” it during the race. I had numbness and pain in my thumbs on both my feet. I don’t think it was from too-tight shoes, but from a cold as in a few descents I didn’t have overshoes, only in thin, wet socks. The healing process took a bit longer but after a while it was OK.
When I look at my elevated heart rate it took a month to see improvements.
I could take the whole experience as a complete disaster. In a way it’s true. But we’re what we did, and it’s important to learn from success and struggle. I won’t lie. I didn’t have a mood to watch how others are doing. I didn’t have the mood to think about any other race in future. I was broken. Mentally. Physically. The amount of time and energy I invested in it was immense.
🌄 The “Why”
When I think about it it’s a common theme for me, when I tackle an “A” race. This year, I didn’t even finish. Last year I had a week of diarrhoea. Two years ago I was hit by a heat wave at Hope 1000 and barely climbed anything, putting myself in a huge sleeping depth. Is it just a piece of bad luck or do I do something terrible wrong?
Nevertheless… I still like to cycle. This doesn’t end here. Shortly after returning home, I have put my notice to my job and my apartment in Prague. I couldn’t bear living a regular life anymore. “The why” suddenly wasn’t about the race. It was more about why I should earn money, I wasn’t going to spend it in a meaningful way. Why should I accept idea of a 5-day working week when I need only half of it to earn my living?
Right now, I’m on a journey. The journey without a goal. Because the journey itself is the goal.
- 15km
- Distance
- 111m
- Elevation
- 01:28
- Duration
Strava activityTour Divide 2024
- How Did it Begin
- The Week of Hope
- Day #1 Out of Breath
- Day #2 Unstoppable Junkie Enters the USA
- Day #3 The Last Resort
- Day #4 Speechless
- Day #5 The Extraction
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